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Funniest Pond Stories-Part 1, May 2004
Get ready for some gut-wrenching, laugh out loud hilarious pondstories from all over the world... (Continued from May Issue of PondStuff!) We had some hilarious, truly gut wrenching, laugh out-loudstories sent in by some of you. Here we're going to highlightsome of the funniest stories for you to read. We had entries from all over the place (Inluding one all the wayfrom THAILAND!) The competition was fierce, and to be honest - Ihad a really hard time deciding on one 'funniest' story, buthere's a brief rundown of our entries: cats, dogs, and bunnies(?) all taking the Nestea plunge right into the water, a hungryKOI nibbling in dangerous territory, a missing flip flop, anelectrifying experience for grandma, fun for the whole family,fish frape, and flying fish to boot! First, let's start with this very funny story about 'Smokey' -who apparently thinks he can walk on water. This was sent in byMike Lachance from Maryland: Funny Pond Story #1 "I wish I had a photo to share of this very true story but anyponder with cats has likely had the same experience at some timeor another. Several years ago, when I was enjoying the secondseason of my first pond (I have now built four as I've movedaround), one of our cats, "Smokey", who was a natural hunter inher prime, saw a mockingbird alight on a lilly pad to get a drinkof water. Well, old "Smokester" slowly crept out from under someday lillies and made a spectacular jump with all four pawsmajestically carrying her like a flying squirrel, right for thatintruding bird. It is not as though she had not already had a couple ofencounters with the water but that day the feathered treat musthave been too much for her to pass up. Well, both my wife and Iwere there to see her make a wonderful belly flop into the pond. Of course, the bird was out of the way in plenty of time and Iswear that that cat walked on her toes the five feet it took herto get out of the water! And of course, after removing herselffrom the water, in a very nonchalant manner, proceeded to lifteach leg, shake off the water and as much as say "I meant to dothat, you know". Smokey often spent time at the pond later, using her tail toattract the fish (she would put it in the water and swish itaround and the fish would come up to explore it. She never didcatch one). She also loved to sit at the waterfall and enjoy thewater moving past her. So that is my funny pond story. === Funny Pond Story #2 "Dear all at McArthur, My funniest pond story is about my late aunt, who introduced meto the joy of backyard ponds. Donna had a large koi pond in herbackyard that she devoted endless amounts of love and attentionto. As happens with most ponds, spring brought some uninvitedguests...in this case frogs. One evening Donna was working on thepond, checking the cantankerous pump and filter system, and usingher net to skim out leaves and what not that had blown in. My 80+ plus year old grandmother was supervising the work andoffering her expert opinion on how to proceed. They were amazedat the number of frogs that had taken up residence, and not toohappy about it. Donna noticed a frog swimming at the far side ofthe pond that she wanted to get out...something was not quiteright about the way he was swimming, and she pointed him out toGrandma. "Mom, look at that frog swimming on his back!" Grandmawas a bit skeptical...frogs doing the back stroke were aphenomenon that she was unfamiliar with. She advised that this misfit should be removed immediately. Don'twant to give the other little froggies strange ideas. Donna madeseveral attempts at scooping the miscreant up with her net, buthe was just out of reach. Only one thing left to do. Roll up yourshorts and wade in after him. The answer to Mr. Frogs strangeswimming technique became painfully obvious as soon as Donnareached his immediate vacinity....a faulty under water light hadshorted and electrocuted him! Donna didn't need her electricrollers for a few days after that!" Enecia Sabroff Funny Pond Story #3 "Hello----My husband recently bought a beagle puppy, at this timehe was 8 weeks old. My husband also bought two almost, semi-tamerabbits to help train the puppy to track rabbits. At this time Ionly had one pond that was preformed 550 gallons, my husband putone of the rabbits out to platy with the puppy, the rabbit wasteasing the puppy, running a little ways then jumping over hishead, then the rabbit decided he didn't want to play anymore sohe started to run from Bear (the puppy), and he dove into thepond. We were thinking that Bear would go around the pond tothe other side and continue chasing the bunny, but Bear just doveright in, he was so little though that he had to be rescued fromthe small backyard pond. My husband's only response was "he'sgoing to be a good rabbit dog!" Well, thanks for listening tomy story. Sincerely, Roberta Collins Toledo, Ohio Funny Pond Story #4 "A story to share... Two years ago I started with the crazy idea of building a smallpond with koi fishes. After a lot of working I finally built it,and decorated it with all sort of plants. One day... mi femalecat "Manchita" went to the pond to examine this newconstruction. She went to the border, jumped on a flat stone andstarter to drink water. To her big surprise one of the fishes ,possibly thinking that the white nose of my cat was food, jumpedout of the water, trying to eat it.. Can you imagine thesurprise of the cat ? I believe that the fish was also quiteimpressed with the experience. My cat almost fell into the pond ,.. and from then on she never went around the pond again. Sheused to watch the pond from my dorm, located in the second floorand just across the pond. Unfortunately I did not take a pictureof this "accident". I am sending you a pictute of this firstpond; in the meantime I did build another, larger one.Unfortunately "Manchita" is not around any more, she passed awaya few month ago, from old age.. This story happened in Valdivia,a city located in the south of Chile. In this country winter isapproaching, with lots of leaves falling from the trees an theplants in my pond preparing themselves to sleep for a while..." Maria Fresard == Funny Pond Story #5 "I have two ponds. An upper and lower pond. The upper pond is fedby a waterfall with the source being the lower pond (driven by apump). The lower pond is fed by an overflow of the upper pondthat flows underground for about 70 feet (12 in drain pipe). Lastsummer I rescued some trout fingerlings from a seasonal streamgoing dry near my home. I put them in the lower pond. This springI was sitting in my kitchen and could see something flopping onmy water fall. The trout had migrated up the overflow tube andwere trying to swim further upstream via the water falls. No sofunny but does show the strength of nature. Just a few weeks ago,Egrets found the pond and the fish. There is nothing left to migrate at this time. Not so funny butdoes an Egret taste anything like a turkey when cooked?" Tom Gegenheimer == Funny Pond Story #6 "We have only had a pond for a short time ... details can be seenat http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/ The funny story must include the workmen (in Thailand) who tookzero safety precautions when constructing the pond. Watching guys shovelling concrete from a lorry and spreading itacross the bottom of the pond ... when the footwear they had wasjust 'flip-flops' resulted in great entertainment .... especiallywhen. several times, the flip flops came off and were lost in thecement somewhere (eventually found while they walked around barefooted) .... pictures at http://thailand4life.net/smithgarden/images/large/DSC03062.jpg Strangely it was only the guys .... the women laborers all woreWellington boots .... maybe this reflects on which of the sexesis really the most sensible?" Regards, Chris == Funny Pond Story #7 "I am building a pond at this time and I was in the process ofbuilding a waterfall in the corner of a fence. The waterfall isabout 3 feet high and 7 feet wide. I thought I was finishing upthe waterfall with some flat rock on the very top. So Istraddeled thewaterfall with my knees on the second ledge and setthe flat rock on top. When I did this the whole waterfall felldown because I build it on blocks and not a pile of dirt. When it fell one big rock caught my foot and I slide down thefall and fell backwards into the pond going all the way under andhad a couple of big rocks come down on me. Meanwhile my wife islaughing her butt of at me and I asked her to help me out sheslipped on the flat wet rock that surounded the ponds edge andhalf way fell in with me. Now my two boys were playing in the yard they are 5 and 3 and sawthis happen to us and they thought it was time to got swimming soguess who jumped into the pond with us, the boys. Nothing likehaving the whole family in on the pond. We laughed for awhile butthen I had to rebuild the whole waterfall again and this time Iput the top rocks on from the side." Robert H Coppa Jr. == Funny Pond Story #8 I decided 300 gallons would be perfect. I did all the math andspent a great deal of time working with more experiencedponders. Somehow when it was all said and done my little 300gallon pond ended up being 810 gallons and come to find out itwas yet another one of my mathematical errors. Guess I should have paid more attention in that college level math classrequired for my Associates, right. We got the pond all up and running but because of themiscalculation we now needed a bigger pump to feed the waterfallso I went to our local water garden supplier and asked which oneto get. Budget was a concern so it was recommended that we got aľ HP submersible pump that cycles 44 gallons a minuet. It wasonly $70 in comparison to the $170 one that was its comparativealternative so? we went that route. $70 dollars later we had a working pond with a beautiful waterfall! I was so excited I couldhardly wait to get fish. Again budget was a concern so we went to the local pet store andpicked up $50 dollars worth of fish, about 8 fish. 4 large goldKoi, some yellow and a blue Koi. The color excited me so much Inever considered what would happen when the fish becamecomfortable in their new home. The swam around investigating fora day or two then started to come up missing. I had it figuredthat they were hiding or that a cat was getting fed to well but Inever figured it was something I could have done. It was thepump? the intake valve on the pump was to large and the fish weregetting to close and being sucked into the pump though the motorpushed down the hose into my waterfall. While this is not a funny story, I must have cried for 3 days, Iwanted to share it because this is the one thing I never readanything about in all the 6 weeks of reading I did on the web. Ican chuckle about it now with a 'I can't believe I didn't thinkof that' thought. Had I known this was possible I would have done something toprevent it by caging in my pump or spending the extra $100 toget the right kind of pump. Hope someone else can save a Koi by my blending experience. Thanks, New to ponds and already thinking of making it fish free!" SheriFurr == Well that's it for this year's 'Funniest Pond Stories'... Hopeyou enjoyed them as much as I did! **************************************************
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